Horses, Elsa, and Purple

Dear Ella,

You have become such a wonderful and lively little girl. I just can't believe how much you have grown and changed in the past few years.

You are in love with horses. You haven't actually seen a horse, but you are pretty sure you love them and want as many as you can get your hands on. Even your preschool teacher knows it is your favorite animal and you ask to wear your horse shirt almost every day. It is very sweet and you have perfected your own neigh.

You also have fallen head over heels for Frozen. For Christmas you got an Elsa dress and an Elsa nightgown. You ask to wear them both all the time. You close yourself into your room wearing your dress and sing at the top of your lungs "LET IT GOOOO LET IT GOOO!" It is adorable. I love this stage of your life where everything has magic and the world is filled with so much beauty.

Purple is your favorite color. How do I know this? You ask to wear purple clothes, color with purple markers, and suggest purple cheese, horses, cats, and cars should all be purple. Much to your WSU parents frustration, you pick out purple everywhere including UW Husky things. Hopefully you will only like the color and not the school. Daddy at least hopes so!

I hope you know how much I love you. This is a difficult time for you as you learn your way through new abilities, new emotions, and new guidelines and rules. You want to do and learn so fast that often you get frustrated or upset when things aren't what they should be. You are smart, kind, fearless, and beautiful and I hope you always keep this spirit.

I love you, my little Ella Monkey!
Love, Mommy

Happy Birthday, Ella!

Dear Ella,

Today you turn three. Whenever it was my birthday my Grandma would call and tell me the story of my birth. She would say that I was born early in the morning and they had to rush out of the house so fast my brother didn't have time to put shoes on. My Aunt Charlene came out of the room crying saying "It's a Girl!" because in those days you just never knew if it was a boy or a girl. It is a special story to me.

Your birth story is even more special. You were a week late. I sat each day in your nursery and would cry because you weren't coming. Then one day I went for a long walk with my dog, Star, and came home. I wasn't feeling very well so I took a nap and then started dinner. We had pulled pork sandwiches and sat down to watch the Mariner's. Just after dinner I started to feeling weird. I wasn't sure what it was, but then it started to get really painful. Your Daddy was rushing around and I got out the hospital paperwork that I never bothered to read and it said I should go in when my contractions were three minutes apart. Mine were only one minute apart. We rushed off and when we got there they made me do all sorts of tests while I was in horrible pain. You finally came after four hours and were the most perfect baby ever. They doctors were amazed by your soft hair, perfect color, and beautiful shaped head. We all cried because we were so happy to finally have our Ella with us.

Today on your birthday you woke up VERY early and we ate waffles with whipped cream and sprinkles. Then we went to visit your preschool that you start in two days. You were the sweetest little girl saying hello and good bye to the teachers. We then went to the park and played until it got a little too cold out and came home and watch a movie.

You are an amazing little girl. You are a leader, caring, funny, and so creative! You can sing and dance and love to read and play pretend. I can't wait to see what your threes will bring because you always amaze me with your talents.

I love you so very much!

Love,
Mommy

Daredevil Ella

Dear Ella,

You are my daredevil. I can't say this enough. It is like your little soul was born with fire around it and you just like to put sparks out everywhere you go! We went to the park yesterday and you played for two hours non stop. I think I said "No Ella" about a hundred times because you wanted to go down the slide wrong, jump on little kids, try to climb up big toys, and run away into the bathrooms.

Here is the secret, I may act annoyed or exhausted by your spirit, but I love it! I love that you are uninhibited. That you don't care what the world may think. That you chase after challenges like they are there just for you. It is amazing to me because I've always been careful to a fault. I never try the scary things, but here is my little girl running straight for the scary and unfamiliar and conquering them with no fear. You are my wild child and it is just what I need to keep me on my toes and to remind me to keep moving and doing.

I hope you never lose this spark. I hope the world doesn't try to take away your fire and that you always wander and find and challenge.

I love you so much my little firecracker!

Love,
Mommy

Big Girl Bed!

Dear Ella,

You are officially a big girl. No more baby crib for you! April 6th we took off the baby rail on your bed and you slept in your very first big girl bed! We took you to pick out our own bedding and you picked a white and pink comforter and we came home and put it on and you said it was time for bed!

You did okay the first night, got up about five times to use the bathroom or to let us know you were awake but finally fell asleep. You woke up nice and early and mommy told you to sit in your big girl bed and read, which you did VERY happily.

Here is the hard part. No more crib means no more baby. When I found out you were a girl I went and picked out a pink and brown crib set. I matched the furniture, carpet, and art work and we painted the wall chocolate brown to match. It was exciting to think I would have this beautiful baby girl to sleep in this baby pink crib. Now that crib set is put away never to be used again. I put you to sleep for the last time in that crib and when I left the room I cried. I cried when I folded up the soft pink and touched it remembering the feeling I had when I first picked it out. I know you have to grow up and it is a good and exciting thing, but you will always be that small baby that I gently placed on that brown and pink polka dot sheet. Always my baby.

Love you,
Mommy

My Big Girl

Dear Ella,

We spent an entire week together potty training. You never cease to amaze me with your ability to learn and lead. You not only trained in one day, but you did it with so much strength and determination that I can just tell that no matter what you do you will do it all the way.

Spending this time with you change my view of you. You aren't my little baby anymore, you are a big girl. You are goofy and spirited and you love to celebrate, dance, and cuddle.

One thing that I took for granted up until now are your eyes. You have your father's eyes. They are big and brown and are rimmed by the most beautiful thick eyelashes. Before you were born I swore that you would need to HAVE my eyes because they are my favorite feature. Of course nature had other plans and gave you brown eyes. At first I was sad because I wanted your baby blue eyes to stay and they darkened by your first birthday. This past week I couldn't love them more! They remind me of the sweetness and love that is all your dad. They are bright and excited. Caring and calm. All the things that I love about your dad and you are so incredibly lucky that you have his eyes.

Thank you for sharing this major milestone with me and for reminding me of just what an amazing little girl you are! I wish I could stop you from growing and sometimes I cry because I miss my squishy Ella baby, but then you do things that remind me that you growing up is amazing and special!

I love you so much, so much more than words could even express.

Love,
Mommy

Christmas Memories

Christmas Through the Years....



2011

2012



2013

Big Sister

Dear Ella,

Your world has officially been rocked. You are a big sister. It hasn't been easy on you just because you want to be helpful but also want to get attention. I don't blame you. Babies are so demanding and you just want your turn. We are trying to give you lots of attention and love and you are such a good girl that you are patient and kind and are very good at taking turns.

You will always be my baby, but seeing you grow up has been a wonderful adventure! Just this week you have been the biggest help getting diapers and telling me when Charlotte needs something. It is sweet and just a sign of your beautiful soul and character. I feel so blessed to have you by my side while I take care of your baby sister.

Please know that right now it is hard. We are just learning how to be a family of four. You have been doing such a good job and make my heart melt when you show love and tenderness toward your sister. You are going to be such a great sister, I just know that you are going to be the best person to help Charlotte in this world. She is so lucky to have you!

Thank you for being who you are and making me realize just how much you have grown.

I love you so much,
Mommy

My soon to be big girl

Dear Ella,

You are a toddler! How did this happen? You turned two last month and it was a blur because you never sit still. You are on the verge of becoming a big sister. Your life is going to change forever and I feel like there is no way of really preparing you. We read books and you tell me the baby is in my belly, but do you really know what baby sister is or how she will forever change your world?

I'm excited for you to have a sister as I never had one, but I'm also scared that you won't be my baby anymore. Each day you do something new - new words, new play, new sweet hugs and kisses. It reminds me you aren't my baby anymore. You are my big girl!

You have a spirit that is so big and so lively that I almost can't keep up! You sing and dance and love to help me. One of my favorite memories of us together is baking and cooking. You sit on the chair next to me and help mix the ingredients or count out how many eggs or veggies to add. I hope that as you grow we can still share these moments...if I can ever slow you down!

We have gone on many adventures just the two of us. You are my little buddy and I can't tell you how much having you in my life means to me. No matter where we go we are together and we have each other. I'm never alone because you are my little shadow. I hope that your sister can fall into our little club and we can have adventures with her too!

As your life is about to change forever, I want you to know that one thing will always stay the same. I will always love you, cherish you, and be here for you. I might have to share my time, but my heart doesn't need to be shared, it will grow so each of you will have just as much of my love.

To my first baby, I wish you always know my love and always know that you are special to me. Always will be.

Love you,
Mommy

Walking and Talking - oh my!

Dear Ella,

You are walking and talking. It all happened all at once. It took me by surprise how overnight you were no longer my little baby, but are toddler. My dad, your Grandpa Dave, used to say to me that he wanted to put a brick on my head to keep me from growing. Now I understand. I just want you to stay little and small forever. Even though your babyhood is coming to a close, there is this new and exciting phase that we are entering in together. You can tell me what you want with a "That!" command and you can walk to where you want to go rather than crawl.

Yesterday we went to the park and you held my hand and walked all over the place. You wanted to be near the big kids playing on the toys. Around and around we strolled and you had a blast! It wasn't that long ago that we were sitting at that same park and you just would stare at the kids on the toys not sure how to get over there. Yesterday you just stood up and toddled after them. Such a big girl with such a big sense of purpose. I can't wait to see what you do next because once you learn something you go crazy with it!

I look back on everything you have accomplished this first year and I can't believe how fast it has gone by. You can walk, talk, and show your little personality. It is crazy that at this time last year I was finishing up your nursury and anxiously waiting for you to come into my life. Now you are here and I'm chasing you all over the nursury!

I am so proud of all you have done and all you have learned. I still wish I could put a brick on your head though, or at least just slow down time a little.

Love you so much my little bean,
Mommy

First illness

My dearest Ella,

I am so sorry to say that you are sick. You have had a fever for a week now and a very upset tummy. We went to the doctor and the good news is that you don't have anything too serious, but the bad news is that we just have to wait it out.

You are very unhappy. All you want to do is cuddle with mommy and sleep on her. We have both only gotten a few hours of sleep at a time. It breaks my heart. A mommy wants to always make her baby feel better, and when you can't it is the worst feeling in the world.

I know this is the first of probably many bugs you will get in your life, and hopefully they will all be as "minor" as this one seems to be. I'm not sure you will always want to cuddle with mommy when you are sick, but I just want you to know that your mommy will always be here for you. Sometimes I can fix it, sometimes I can't. Regardless, I'll be here.

All my loves,
Mommy

Playdates and friends

Dear Ella,

When I decided to be a stay at home mom I was worried about you being able to meet and interact with other babies your age. It was scary to think that I would be your only friend! We have met a great group of moms and babies and you have made some wonderful little friends.

Kiera, Andrew, Brooke, and Maia are all your little buddies and we meet with them and other babies about once a week. You crawl together, you stand together, and you of course share your treats together! I can't believe that you won't be this small forever and that you and these special little ones will one day grow up and your play will change.

I want you to know about your first friends. Your first experiences playing and talking, sharing cheerios and pulling eachother's hair. You are a little bit of a bully. You have knocked down other babies, scratched them, climbed over them, and stolen their toys. I don't think you mean to, you are just learning. When you make another baby cry you feel bad and usually yell at them in your baby voice. As you get older I think you will be a leader. You cruise down hallways and into rooms that are off limits, others in tow. You also start nice baby yelling contests to see who can yell the loudest. If one baby has something, you must have it too. This includes their bottles, snacks, toys, pretty much everything.

I am so proud of you and your ability to play and learn. I hope that as you grow you will always have friends around you. You try new things, meet new people, and are never afraid to lead the way.

All my love,
Mommy

You and Brooke at playgroup

Your first sporting event!

Dear Ella,

On May 5th we took you to your first sporting event - Seattle Sounders soccer. We were very excited to share with you our love of sports and even more excited that your first experience would be soccer. For your first game I made you a Rave Green hairbow since we had a hard time finding a Sounders shirt that was small enough (you are very small for your age!). I dressed you in green and put the hairbow in your hair and off we went!

After a rocky ride into Seattle (you cried...a lot) we pulled into the parking garage and Daddy and his friend left for the pregame activities while you and mommy had a nice little snack in the car. You and Mommy then made your way to the game! Walking there we passed a lot of gree clad fans and even a fiddler who was playing some fun music that you liked! Mommy and Daddy got pictures with you and as we walking into Century Link Field you got a lot of compliments on your bow and your overall adorableness.

You did really well during the game! Towards halftime you got hungry and you snacked on some puff foods and felt much better. Then you sang to the music and had a good time watching the rest of the game. We had to take a diaper break and unfortunately you missed your first goal (bad timing) but after hearing the fireworks and cheers we were pretty happy that we missed the loud noise.

After the game you slept all the way home and woke up very happy! Next stop Mariner's baseball!

Love you so much, and Daddy and I are so proud of what a little sports fan you turned out to be!

Love,
Mommy

Half a Year Old

Dear Ella,

You are half a year old today. Six months ago you came into my life and things have never been the same. Sure, I used to be able to sleep a lot more, but your giggles and goofy noises make it all worth it! Today was a pretty low key day for us considering you were up about four times during the night, all after 3am. We spent the morning cuddling and napping and then the afternoon playing and taking your six month old photos.

You love to sing Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes and to bang your hands on pretty much anything from mommy and daddy, to the high chair. You giggle when I kiss your tummy and when I make you bounce up the stairs for bathtime. You like to pull your socks off, try to get anything and everything in your mouth, and you are the most wonderful and perfect thing I have ever seen in my life.

I can't believe that is has been half a year already. Time really does fly, especially when you are having the time of your life with the most wonderful little girl God has made.

You are sleeping next to me right now. Dreaming what dreams a six month old dreams. I wish I could keep you forever here with me, but I know I can't. I know you will grow up and learn new things, think new thoughts, and probably give me a run for my money. But right now, at six months, you are perfect.

I love you my little half-year-old. I can't wait to see what the next six months have in store.

All my love,
Mommy

4 Month Appointment

Dear Ella,

We took you to your four month doctor's appointment the other day. It was a very snowy day and most offices were closed but we made the trek in and were the only car on the road. You were happy and talking until the doctor came in. She wanted to check how tall you were, how much you weighed, and all of the other "health checks" to make sure you were growing and healthy. You were 14 lbs and 6 oz and 25 inches. Skinny and tall, just like your daddy!

She noted that you had a beautiful head - which I have to agree! Apparently it is very round which means you spend a lot of time on your belly or sitting up. You definitly like to sit up in mommy's lap. We spend a long time looking at magazines and books together and playing with your toys so I'm glad that your beautiful head comes from fun mommy times!

When you were being checked out by the doctor you started crying and looking at me. You wanted nothing to do with her and the doctor laughed saying that you are a mommy's girl. I'm probably to blame because I love our times together! We laugh and play and sing and dance and if that means you are a mommy's girl then good!

The night after your shots you woke up with a bad fever. Mommy and daddy were scared out of minds! You were crying and sad, but daddy gave you some medicine and you fell right back asleep. Please don't ever be sick again! It breaks me heart.

I love you very much and am so glad that you are growing and learning!

Love,
Mommy

Snow!

Dear Ella,
Today it snowed. A real snow too, not just one of those little dustings that most Seattleites freak out over and closes buisnesses. It is a snow that they think the whole world is ending, and I love it! When I woke up with you this morning I didn't know it snowed until I looked out the window. I squealed and you just stared at me like I was a nut ball. I should probably get used to that look from you because just a little side note...mommy gets very excited about things like this!

We took you outside in it and you were less than impressed. Probably because you were stuffed into a snow suit that I had been anxiously waiting to put you in from the day I got it from my cousin Stephenie.

I am very excited for many more snows with you, building snowmen, making snow angels, and of course throwing snowballs at Daddy because believe me he will have it coming!

Love you,

Mommy

Morning Time

Dear Ella,

Today is Saturday. Daddy woke up early with you because you were fussy and slept with you on the couch so I could get some sleep. He came in when you needed to eat and was so sleepy and tired that he crawled in bed and fell asleep while you ate. You on the other hand gulped down your breakfast and were very happy that you got to sleep with Daddy that you wanted to tell me about it with your happy baby noises.



We came downstairs and played together, having a very fun time. Then you got sleepy. Very sleepy. When you get sleepy you make baby sleepy noise. It makes me want to cuddle you for hours, but unless I leave you alone you will stay awake. You are now sleeping with your glow worm, messy hair and all. Here is the thing, my sweet little baby, I worry that these morning times won't last. That the older you get the more independent you will become. You won't want to play with Mommy all morning, you will want to play with yourself, your toys, or one day your friends. I won't make sleepy baby noises while I hold you and you won't give me a big smile when you wake up. You are growing and changing and for that I am grateful because I know you are healthy and strong and smart. But for today, just stay my little baby cuddle with me a little longer please.

Love,
Mommy

My first letter to Ella

Dear Ella,

You are sitting here with me as I type out this first letter to you and are trying to "help" by grabbing at my hands. I want to start writing you letters so you know about me, you, and the adventures that we will be taking together. When I found out I was having a girl I was in complete shock. My whole life I dreamed of a daughter, but for some reason I thought I would only have boys. The ultrasound tech said with a smile it was a girl, and I gasped. A girl! A daughter! You are so special, and that was the first moment I realized that I was one of the luckiest moms in the whole world!

When you were born it was sort of surreal. After a few hours of intense pain I was overcome with the greatest love I've ever known. They handed you to me and I promised you that I would be here for you no matter what. Your little hands, your crazy head of hair, and your sweet small nose. I felt as if I already knew you. September 2, 2011, the day I became a mother, is the greatest day of my life.

Watching you grow made me realize that I wanted to document and share with you for when you are older all of the things you do everyday. You make me laugh with your baby noises. You make me cry when you won't sleep. You make smile when you reach for me. You are so special and will forever be loved.

In this first letter, I just want you to know that I dreamed of you before you were born. I dreamed of holding you and showing you the world. It is hard to believe that now I have you. We will have great adventures together. I can't wait.

Love,
Mommy